The Golden Globes - Running Commentary

7:10 - George Clooney for Syriana. There is justice in this world.

7:11 - Nominees for best supporting actress. Holy crap, Scarlett Johansson's boobs. I mean. Wow.

7:12 - Rachel Weisz wins for Constant Gardener. I support this win, but I was kind of hoping for Scarlett Johansson to win anyways. I mean, my god. Rachel Weisz... apparently thinks she's in a different crowd. Too serious for the room! Let's see Scarlett Johansson's boobs again. Ahh... there we go.

7:14 - Approaching a commercial break, so here's my rant. Golden Globes, what year is it? No, I haven't just awoken from a coma. But I'm sitting here watching the self-proclaimed "Biggest Awards Show in Town" (I think a little man named Oscar has something to say about that, but whatever), and it's in standard definition. Why? Why do you punish me, NBC? I know we haven't had a good year this year, but I came back for Earl, didn't I? And I tried really hard to like Joey. I need my HDTV, man.

7:18 - C'mon Naveen!

7:19 - Paul Newman wins! Love your dogfood, man.

7:20 - Brandon Routh, you aren't as pretty as Tom Welling, but those glasses do win you a cookie or two.

7:21 - C'mon Elizabeth Perkins!

7:21 - Sandra Oh. Oh. I think Elizabeth Perkins was robbed, but Sandra Oh is too darling. I love when they're so excited when they win! No one likes a cool and composed acceptance speech.

7:27 - Drew Barrymore, did you borrow that dress from your grandma?

7:28 - And did you forget to borrow a bra?

7:30 - Gwyneth Paltrow. Lovely. Bored. (and rightfully so.)

7:31 - I just have no opinion on this category at all.

7:33 - Geena Davis just totally redeemed herself for that ridiculous dress by making up a fake story. Rock on, lady President!

7:34 - But I just thew up in my mouth a little bit when she called Steven Bochco a silver fox.

7:35 - Ian McShane! IAN McSHANE!

7:35 - With Evangeline Lilly!

7:36 - Hugh Laurie? WTF? I call shenanigans.

7:37 - Let's go back to talking about Ian McShane. He's so wonderful. I wish Evangeline Lilly would guest start as one of his whores on Deadwood. That would be the best episode ever.

7:39 - The thing where stars tell their kids to go to bed in their acceptance speech is irritating.

7:41 - I just can't believe this isn't in HD. What were they thinking?

7:43 - I'm so distracted by Melanie Griffith's giant plastic head that I just can't even pay the slightest bit of attention to what she's saying.

7:46 - I don't even think I watched any mini-series this year, but I watched the first hour of Empire Falls, so I guess I'll root for that.

7:48 - Empire Falls. Yay, I guess? Rock on, Paul Newman's dog food!

7:49 - In retrospect, I should have formatted this in reverse chronology. Oh well...

7:49 - William Peterson! I love you, William Peterson.

7:49 - (What?)

7:50 - If Jason Lee doesn't win this, I will be very upset.

7:51 - I am very upset.

7:51 - That's right, you wanker. You should thank Ricky Gervais, for that spectacular coattails view he's given you.

7:52 - His speech is decently funny though.

7:52 - (But not as funny as Jason Lee's would have been.)

7:52 - (Or Ricky Gervais's, for that matter.)

7:56 - "And that's basically how you get a ballpoint pen out of your neck."

7:57 - Oh, Tim Robbins. Get a comb.

7:59 - If Reese Witherspoon doesn't win this... well, you know.

7:59 - The name's Linney, jackass.

8:00 - Reese Witherspoon, you're so cutiepie.

8:00 - No surpirses, but still, yay! She's just so lovely and articulate and fun all at the same time. And she and Ryan Phillipe are so cute together. I'm glad for her. :)

8:02 - Chris Rock rules.

8:03 - C'mon, Mary Louise Parker!!

8:04 - That poor thing, she doesn't think she has a chance.

8:05 - !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is awesome. She thinks Elizabeth Perkins got robbed too. But at least MLP won! That's such a fine show. If you don't watch it, you should.

8:10 - Emma Thompson has the prettiest nighty on...

8:12 - Kate Beckinsale is so lovely. It's too bad she's rumored to be one of the most vile bitches in the industry (and if that's not saying alot, I don't know what is).

8:13 - Are we on miniseries again? I totally don't even know what category this is.

8:14 - Jonathan Rhys Meyers! I support this, because he is pretty.

8:16 - Kelly MacDonald is so dear. And she brought Dougie with! Hi, Dougie!

8:17 - Wow, S. Epatha got a buzz cut. She wears it well though. She's got a good shaped head. (Maybe not as much so as Natalie Portman though... she looks just darling too.)

8:18 - S. Epatha! Not lovin' the dress, but I'm happy for her anyways, just by proxy of loving her on Law & Order.

8:19 - S. Epatha... sharing too much.

8:24 - I bet the Olympics will be in HD.

8:26 - With that beard, Colin Firth looks kind of like the English William Peterson. Hm...

8:26 - Match Point. I think the first Woody Allen movie I've actually been highly excited to see. And not just because of Scarlett Johansson's fabulous boobs.

8:27 - I haven't seen George Clooney's movie yet, but I want him to win anyways. I have confidence. I'd settle for a Brokeback win though.

8:28 - Teehee, Ang Lee has the cutest smile. Hearing that music from Brokeback Mountain makes me feel sad all over again though.

8:29 - Jake Gyllenhaal, where are you?

8:30 - Why does ist not shock me that Larry McMurtry has almost a fetishistic love of his typewriter?

8:40 - I was on the phone and missed that whole comedy thing, mostly, but Weeds was robbed.

8:42 - I've been watching TV for so long.

8:44 - I'm so hungry.

8:45 - "Hey, Crabman."

8:47 - Scores have been kind of lacking this year. I guess I go with Brokeback Mountain though. Even though, again, so sad.

8:48 - I think they give John Williams these things just on general principle.

8:49 - Mariah Carey is just so far off of my radar. As are all of these songs.

8:50 - Seriously. Where's Jake Gyllenhaal?

8:52 - That look Gwyneth Paltrow gave the guy touching her sleeve was hilarious.

8:53 - Ooh... George Clooney chatting up the Spielberg. Do I smell a collaboration?

8:54 - I think I do. But IMDb disagrees.

8:56 - Could Gwyneth Paltrow be more lovely? Evangeline Lilly said she looked like an angel, and she totally does. I'd write songs about her too, if I was Chris Martin. And if she names her next kid Capone, she is my new hero.

9:00 - I love when Gwyneth Paltrow says "flesh-eating."

9:01 - Mmm... Lecter.

9:03 - Now there's an enjoyable highlight reel. Thank you, Anthony Hopkins! Could he be more of a gentleman? I wish he was president.

9:07 - George Clooney, you take that shotglass off your eye this instant.

9:13 - Ang Lee! Ang Lee!

9:14 - Yay! :) And he called Clint Eastwood "The Man"... He's just so gracious and dear.

9:17 - John Travolta sounds insincere all the time. I don't know why. Maybe because he mispronounced Pierce Brosnan's name?

9:18 - Johnny Depp, rockin' those gold teeth.

9:18 - If Joaquin doesn't win...

9:18 - Like there was any doubt. Good job, River Phoenix's brother! And he remembered to thank John and June.. That's so sweet. He looks like he's about to cry. He might be just a little drunk. Either way, the man knows how to sound sincere. Unlike John Travolta.

9:26 - If you're sensing a trend... Walk the Line. Or else.

9:27 - Naturally!

9:34 - Go Lost, go!

9:35 - Geena Davis seems really serious when she says "children."

9:37 - Wasn't Deadwood nominated?

9:38 - Very pleased. And what a fine looking bunch they are! J.J. Abrams is cutiepie.

9:40 - Emma Thompson, get out of Ang Lee's lap!

9:41 - Go Gwyneth!

9:42 - I think Felicity Huffman is nice, and I didn't see that movie, so I can't really comment. But Proof was just so fine, and Gwyneth so fine in it, that I'm more than a little disappointed by her loss. You get the Golden Globe of my heart, Gwynnie.

9:44 - I wish I had a t-shirt that said "I'd rather be watching the Oscars."

9:49 - I'm strangely uncommitted to this category this year. I mostly just think Jake Gyllenhaal should have been nominated and subsequently awarded with it.

9:50 - PSH for Capote. Did not see that one coming.

9:55 - The choice here is clear.

9:55 - Yay! :) The choice was clear, but it isn't always to the voters. It's a tremendous relief that it was in this instance.

And we're out. Not as big of a farce as it usually is, with a few notable exceptions, so that's nice. Time for the post show. In HD.